Mentality of a seventeen, body of a fifty-seven.
That sums up pretty much about me.
Only that at fifty-seven I'd have menopaused and stop monthly moodswings. Oh, alliteration I realised.

I'm happy because I got the planner which I'm gonna use next year, I'm prepared to fill it up with random things and drawings.

Annoyed as can be because I'm missing out on quite a few things because of my coming trip to (boring) malaysia.

But I figured I need to stop whining because even I'm irritating myself hahaha, can't imagine (...). I'm such an arse. 4 months deadline is such a despising and demeaning act but its quite tangible I would say?

This's quite funny, watching 2 kids play uno. Girl A puts "blue skip", back to her turn, oh no, no more blue, draw more to try for a blue because getting a skip doesn't help.

In other lingo, HNMLYTTM (: I actually never thought I'd go this far, much as I'd like it to be longer than that because I've never been anywhere near this. Quite a few ups and downs, but if it's just part and parcel of learning more abt someone, getting to know you more, I'm pretty fine with it (:

Life's been pretty boring. No tutorial done, no assignment done. Slacking way too much, which isn't a good thing. Hmm, I kinda want to go work at the universal studio in dec, if I get to do it. Doubt it'll be much fun, might be just some boring admin stuff, but it may just turn out fun hehe :D

Life's been pretty normal, or at least I hope so. I'm not feeling much of the ache I'm supposed to feel, simply because I missed the running part of pt. Oops. I'm considering adding in photos onto this space, but I'm doing most of the updating from my phone, which doesn't allow me to do it. Life's normal with just text.

And I miss j equally much everyday (: or maybe some days more, some days less. But at least we get to leave school together on most days (:

Haha was walking home really quickly today cos I was thinking I can watch gossip girl. But halfway, I realised my ge ge is at home ): what a bummer -insert xanga's bummed emoticon-

Quote of the day
"October comes after september???"
-ellyn

Thanks for accompanying me and everything today, joining my class and all. Though we really need to camwhore (haven't done it wichoo for ages!) :P

Civics review was kinda sad, I think mr teo's really sweet, taking the time to make the video. I really have no idea how am I going to graduate (assuming I don't retain at j2) next year without bawling my eyes out too much. counting on the fact that I cried during orientation night, cried at this, I'm pretty sure I will next year ): I don't want to leave jc, honestly because I think these two years will be the best years I'm gonna have in my life. I'm really grateful for my friends - my og for always being there and giving me my dose of laughter, my class for giving me a sense of belonging for the very first time, my girlfriends whom I can always always count on, special mention goes out to hwee because I was never rly close to her in rg despite being in the same clique but rj brought us really closer.

Last but not least, james (:
Not because it's better than nothing,
but because it's better than everything (:

it's almost like I'm a tool for you. For you to talk to people about, for you to feel good when they go, oh raffles, so smart that sorta thing.

And I don't even feel like I'm in your life? Like how it feels so wonderful that I'm not being acknowledged for all the work I've put in. No well done, no words of encouragement, yes, absolutely wonderful isn't it. And the worst fact is that people like kevin, ellyn, shaochun, they actually saw it and they know about it.

Sorry I'm just not clever enough huh. Sorry I got SOME fucking Es and Ds. Oh wait, I think you're not satisfied with a C either?! Sorry I'm so stupid I can't take part much in dance concert either? Thanks. A whole lot.

Then again, I don't think I want to. I just want to sleep and prove how stupid I am. So maybe you can stop thinking that life's a breeze, studying's a breeze. I'm just not someone like that.

And it doesn't help that.............

I must admit there are things which they are once said, it's pretty set for good and there's no turning back. And those are regrets i dont want to live with. life's been good, except for the occasional times i get dc-ed from the comp.

don't, don't ever ever do it.

I can't stand the idea of my mom being so chummy with someone else besides my bro and me. Makes me wonder if she even treats me as her daughter or someone else's a better fit than me. I know I'm in not much in a position to complain about it since I'm always throwing tantrums at her and everything but still. Makes me feel really sucky.

almost like how I did for today.